I received this book for free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
The Princess Beard: The Tales of Pell by Delilah S. Dawson, Kevin HearnePublished by Del Rey Books on October 8, 2019
Pages: 384
Format: ARC, eBook
Source: Netgalley
Buy on Bookshop
Shave the princess? Inconceivable! The hilarious bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes are back with a new adventure in the irreverent world of Pell.
Once upon a time, a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses.
When she woke, she found no Prince Charming, only a surfeit of hair and grotesquely long fingernails--which was, honestly, better than some creep who acted without consent. She cut off her long braids and used them to escape. But she kept the beard because it made a great disguise.
This is not a story about finding true love's kiss--it's a story about finding yourself. On a pirate ship. Where you belong.
But these are no ordinary pirates aboard The Puffy Peach, serving under Filthy Lucre, the one-eyed parrot pirate captain. First there's Vic, a swole and misogynistic centaur on a mission to expunge himself of the magic that causes him to conjure tea and dainty cupcakes in response to stress. Then there's Tempest, who's determined to become the first dryad lawyer--preferably before she takes her ultimate form as a man-eating tree. They're joined by Alobartalus, an awkward and unelfly elf who longs to meet his hero, the Sn'archivist who is said to take dictation directly from the gods of Pell. Throw in some mystery meat and a dastardly capitalist plot, and you've got one Pell of an adventure on the high seas!
In this new escapade set in the magical land of Pell, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly skewer the tropes of fairy tales and create a new kind of fantasy: generous, gently humorous, and inclusive. There might also be otters.
The Tales of Pell series is obviously a string of parodies, and this one is just as obviously a play on The Princess Bride. I certainly enjoyed the first book in the series, titled Kill the Farm Boy. The second book, No Country for Old Gnomes, failed to capture my interest and I didn’t finish it. This third installment, however, was just as good as the first.
Perhaps the problem with NCFOG was that it appeared to be a play on the tropes of The Hobbit, and I’m not a Tolkien fan. The movies were well enough, but my attempts to read LotR failed multiple times before even getting through the party scene. You have no idea how many of my fantasy-loving friends I’ve disappointed in that fact, but it is, sadly, a fact. I also suspect that, perhaps, John Scalzi’s rule that: The failure mode of clever is asshole at least partially applies. I found the gnomes irritating and didn’t even get out of their village before I quit.
On the other hand, our PB characters are quite the laugh riot. There’s Morgan, our titular bearded — and gender-fluid — princess who becomes a pirate. Tempest, a dryad with healing abilities whose fate is to become a carnivorous tree, joins the crew with the aim of being a lawyer who helps the poor and unfortunate. Alobartalus is the requisite half-breed elf who wants to meet his hero, the Sn’archivist, who talks to gods. Then there’s what has to be my favorite character: Vic, the swole gym-bro centaur whose toxic masculinity is balanced by his magical ability to summon sweetly decorated pastries and delicate cups of steaming tea. And then, of course, there’s pirate captain Filthy Lucre, who is the most lovable talking parrot I’ve encountered since Aladdin’s Iago.
As I said in my review of the first book in the series: you can tell the authors are clearly having fun with this. I don’t think they always quite reach the heights of humor that they think they do, but The Princess Beard is a nice addition to the series, and is just as entertaining as Kill the Farm Boy was. If you enjoyed that one, you’ll enjoy this. The book drops on October 8th at book stores near you.
